Video game characters are an interesting bunch, aren’t they? The biggest heroes go out on grand adventures to save the world from great evil, but it’s always thanks to you controlling them. If we’re all honest, some characters just don’t seem like the ‘save all existence’ type.

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I’m out here to make the bold proclamation that a lot of video game characters absolutely would not have risen to meet their dedicated challenge if it weren’t for you, the elite gamer you are. It may be for a variety of reasons unique to each hero, but I don’t make the rules — like a good best friend to someone in a toxic relationship, I just call out the behavior I see.

10 Kirby

I’m just going to say it, Kirby would be horrible if he weren’t controlled by you because he’d either just be asleep the whole time or something much more sinister. Kirby seems like his appetite is impossible to satiate.

If his hunger got the better of him, and you weren’t there to take him on his whirlwind adventures, Kirby might just eat everything in existence. We have no idea how powerful the mouth cyclone is, meaning we might be yet to see Kirby’s true power.

9 Big The Cat

If you somehow haven’t experienced the original Sonic Adventure game, you’re not going to be able to truly grasp Big The Cat’s love for fishing. This strange creature goes on a Bass Pro-style fishing adventure throughout the events of the game and even comes into conflict with Chaos.

Yes, this is all done through fishing. While one look at Big The Cat tells me he’s going to give everything his all, I just don’t believe he has the necessary skills to wrangle a frog from Chaos’ body without some help from you.

8 Joel Miller

We like to think the best of our video game heroes, but let’s be real, Joel Miller of The Last of Us would definitely suck if you weren’t controlling him. The man would be too lost in learning some post-apocalyptic golf.

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You already know Joel would be out there finding a nice cozy golf course to retire to, far away from the Clickers. Ironically, it’s Joel’s disinterest in heroics and my own headcanon addition of his hidden love for golf that would save him from his ultimate fate.

7 Chris Redfield

Chris Redfield is one of the most popular heroes from the Resident Evil series, but I refuse to believe that this man would be a competent hero if you weren’t controlling him for all of his accomplishments. Chris is, for lack of a better term, a meat-head, and I can absolutely prove it.

I’m not exactly speaking from experience because I don’t punch things, but I can only imagine it takes a next-level kind of dedication to the gym to get the kind of arms required for the unintentionally hilarious punching of boulders. The fact that Chris turned to that to solve his problems while inside an active volcano tells me that all he knows is working out and punching things, the gunplay is all thanks to you.

6 Captain Toad

I’m not trying to say that it’s impossible to have unlikely heroes in video games, but I am going to say that Captain Toad would not be able to save Toadette without your help. First, we have to believe that Toads are expert puzzle-solvers instead of the kinds of creatures that get turned into brick blocks.

Then we have to think that Captain Toad is actively looking for Power Moons that are hidden everywhere throughout Mario Odyssey, and he only manages to find one while ending up in the most ridiculous spots in each world. At the end of the day, Captain Toad is just a Toad.

5 Commander Shepard

You might try to argue with me on this one because Commander Shepard has a long history of service to fall back on, but I’d make the case that it’s their initial advancement to Spectre status that turned them into an absolute party animal.

Just look at how often Shepard just so happens to wander into clubs and bars across the galaxy. It’s no coincidence that Shepard is always near a dance floor. Add in the fact that Shepard throws a massive party before the final moments of Mass Effect 3, and you’ve got a recipe for a Shepard who’d be too busy partying to save the world.

4 Mario

The opening scene to most Mario games these days should tell you that the little guy isn’t cut out to save the Mushroom Kingdom. Super Mario Odyssey is a perfect example of this, with Mario getting bopped right in the opening moments.

Mario doesn’t start being something special until you control him, and maybe that’s why everyone loves him. The thing is, it really makes me wonder what Mario gets up to between games because it can’t be anything much outside of unclogging some drains.

3 Shadow The Hedgehog

Shadow the Hedgehog isn’t often the hero of the Sonic series, but he does have his moments. The real issue with him actually doing anything heroic is that he’s just too darn edgy for his own good. We all know he’s the type of guy to make those jokes that make the whole room uncomfortable before tipping his fedora.

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Even when you can control Shadow, you actually have the option to go down some dark paths anyway, but for the best possible outcome, you are required. You just know Shadow would be stuck on a rooftop all night thinking of the edgiest quips to use the next time he saw Sonic instead of saving the world.

2 Link

You might think that the reason Link would be a terrible hero without your input is because he’s so lazy thanks to all that sleeping. You might be right about that, but there is another reason. The real reason is that in almost all of his appearances, Link is still a kid, or at the very least, a teenager.

While those age groups can certainly rise to greatness in their own right, I just don’t think a kid is going to be defeating kings of evil in hand-to-hand combat. Nice boomerang, Link — Ganondorf can turn into a giant pig beast.

1 Marth

Marth is possibly the most famous character from the underappreciated Fire Emblem series, and yes, the young prince would be a total novice without you. The reason here is as obvious as it gets, you are playing a strategy game and literally create the war strategy.

Marth would just be standing around with his army, with no clue what to do if you weren’t there to act as the perfect tactician. The same could be said for any hero in the series because it’s your winning strategies that lead the armies to victory — especially when some of those terrible stat gains play into the mix.

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