Toy Story 5: Deadpool And Wolverine's Plastic Boogaloo

Hey you! Yes, YOU, the person reading this on your screen! Guess what? You're now part of a Deadpool monologue. Congratulations! Your life has peaked. Hold onto your chimichangas because the most Earth-shattering news since the invention of spandex has just dropped. Deadpool, that red-suited rapscallion, that mouthy mercenary, that fourth-wall demolition expert, that self-proclaimed Marvel Jesus is getting his very own action figure!

And, oh yeah, his frenemy Wolverine is tagging along too. Because why have one awesome action figure when you can have two (Wait. Never mind. It's one. Wolvie's isn't that awesome).

Best Deadpool Funko Pop! Figures In 2024

Deadpool can make a lot of different looks work, which is proven by these Funko Pops!

DEADPOOL FIGURE = HOTTER THAN EVER

Anyhoozy, like I was saying, Tamashii Nations just made your wildest dreams come true. Well, second wildest. Your first wildest is still that thing with the - FOCUS!!

Deadpool & Wolverine - Deadpool

The Merc With An Action Figure

This collectible is based on the "Deadpool & Wolverine" movie. Standing about 6 inches tall, it features Deadpool in his updated suit. The figure also comes with multiple accessories, including katanas, guns, and interchangeable hands and eyes.

• Handsome, charming, elegant.
• Sort of looks like Ryan Reynolds, but in red spandex.
• Baby knives. Lots and lots of baby knives.

• Very likely to break into your house and order pineapple pizza.

Okay, so first up, we have this cute little mini-me. And this baby's got more features than I have scars, and trust me, that's saying something:

• Hands for days: Wanna flip off Wolverine? Done. Need to make obscene gestures at Cable? You got it. Want to recreate that scene from "Ghost"? ...Okay, maybe not that last one. Or do it. I'm not your mom. Or am I? *wink wink*
• Swappable peepers: Because nothing says "emotionally stable" like eyes you can pop in and out. Like mood rings, but for your face!
• Enough weapons to make the NRA blush: Swords, guns, grenades, katanas, everything you need to spell out Ajax's name on the compound where they practice superhero landings. No Shake Weights, though. Sorry.
• Bonus: Headpool! And it looks just like Freddy Kruger had a baby with the topographical map of Utah. Papa must be so proud.

Yes, I know what you're thinking: "But Deadpool, how can a plastic figure be as charming as Ryan Reynolds?" Well, it can't. But it's trying its best, okay? Don't hurt its feelings. They're very sensitive. Like me.

DEADPOOL'S BURNING HOT TIP: Buy two! One for the shelf, and one for those lonely nights when you need someone to talk to about the existential dread of being a comic book character aware of your own fictional nature!

And remember, kids: With great power comes great-- OH LOOK, A SQUIRREL!

Wolverine: The Hairy Sidekick You Never Wanted

Oh yeah, Wolvie's here too. Whoopdie-freakin'-doo. His figure comes with:

Deadpool & Wolverine - Wolverine

The Worst At What He Does

This S.H.Figuarts Wolverine figure is based on the "Deadpool & Wolverine" movie. It stands about 6.1 inches tall, featuring Wolverine in his iconic yellow suit and mask. The figure comes with interchangeable hands and head parts to recreate different expressions and poses.

• Absolutely nailed the grumpy look. Resting Logan face is real.

• No mini whiskey bottle. Sober Logan is NOT fun.
• Not Deadpool.
• No baby knife.
• Non-healing plastic. One drop and he's out for good.
• Claws don't retract. Talk about performance issues, am I right?

• Claws: Obviously. What's Wolverine without his claws? Just a very angry, unreasonably buff Canadian.
• Interchangeable hands: For when he needs to pop his claws or make a fist to shake at those darn kids on his lawn.
• Extra head: Because one grumpy Wolverine head just wasn't enough to capture the full spectrum of Logan's emotional constipation.

The Catch

So, here's the dealio: These figures won't be out until February 2025. I know, right? By then, we'll probably be on our 15th Spider-Man reboot.

But hey, good things come to those who wait. Like sequels with critical exposition. And multiversal crossovers. And that pizza you ordered an hour ago. You should really give them a call and see what the hold up is.

Bottom Line

Look, you beautiful reader, you. We both know this is just a marketing ploy to get you to buy action figures. But let's be real: you were gonna buy them anyway. Because who doesn't want a miniature Ryan Reynolds...erm, I mean, Deadpool on their shelf? Pre-order them now, because once they're on sale, they're gonna fly off shelves faster than you can say Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

So slap down your hard-earned cash (or someone else's cash, I don't judge) and get ready for the greatest six inches of plastic to ever grace your sweaty palms. Use them to act out scenes from the movies. Or don't. Maybe just stare at them and contemplate the nature of existence. Are you real? Am I real? Is anything real?

...And now you're having an existential crisis.

You're welcome.

Best Deadpool & Wolverine Merchandise

Celebrate the Deadpool and Wolverine movie with this collection of merch.

Oh, you're still here...