Okay, get it out of your system. Laugh all you want. Done giggling? Okay, let me begin. For those of you out of the loop, this year’s Warhammer Day reveals included a new model for the Adeptus Mechanicus. “Great,” you may think, “the Emperor’s engineers need some love after their awful index at the start of 10th edition.” But not everyone is happy with this specific brand of love.

The Sydonian Skatros sounds cool on paper. A cyborg watchtower, a living being plied with so many mechanical adaptations that it no longer resembles the human it presumably once was. The perfectly engineered sniper that can hold deathly still, and its augmented eyes scan the battlefield with omniscience. Nothing can escape its high-powered rounds. And then Games Workshop showed its legs.

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The Skatros is just a dude on stilts. Even as I prepare to defend it, I recognise that this is a deeply funny miniature. The memes are great, the legs are undeniably humorous. If you’re laughing at the miniature, then you’re doing the right thing. This is a long, silly guy. If you’re legitimately complaining, however, you need to take a deep breath.

There’s a lot to like about this model, especially in the top half. The head is one of the best in the Mechanicum range. Night-vision visor pushed up to reveal the gas mask beneath, it’s a perfect fit for the grimdark setting of 40k, and fits the Mechanicus range well.

I’m also a big fan of the gothic nature of the Mechanicus’ weapons, and the Skatros’ Radium Jezzail and Transuranic Arquebus are great examples of this. They look like ancient relics dug up in some secretive archeological excavation, subsequently blessed by prayers to the Machine God to keep the bullets true. A big guy with a big rifle, what more could a Mechanicus player ask for?

How about a little mechanical arm that loads your rifle’s rounds for you? Yes, the Skatros is chock full of little details like this, because why would a mechanically-enhanced sniper want to mess up their shot by removing one hand from steadying the aim of their rifle? The minutiae of this miniature are spectacular, and then you pan down.

The legs look silly. I get it. But the majority of criticisms are wrong. Yes, the legs look weird because they’re too straight, but the Skatros clearly has knees. The red armour just above the tall section of stilt clearly has pistons and joints for ease of walking. I don’t know why the designers didn’t sculpt it in motion, but the model has knees. Please stop with the anti-knee disinformation. I’ve not yet decided whether I’m going to cut my model up at the joints and pose it better or embrace the silliness, but either way, the model will have knees.

If you want to poke fun at the Skatros, why not aim for the exhaust pipe swinging between its legs? It’s a real knee-slapper, and should be ripe for memeing. I think we’ll get there once you all take your mind off the stilts, but come on. This model has a giant exhaust dong and you barely even mention it? Do better.

Mechanicum players do have some reason to grumble, however, and it’s not just the phallic imagery. A previous Warhammer Community article mentioned that the forthcoming Mechanicus codex will include 30 datasheets, and the range currently has 29. So long as no units are getting their datasheets combined (the three Archeopters for instance, or some people predict the Cybernetica Datasmith to be lumped back in with the Kastelan Robots), the Skatros is the only new unit the army will receive.

Everyone likes shiny new toys, but the Adeptus Mechanicus probably need them the most. The two halves of their army don’t gel well together, the Cult Mechanicus and Skitarii often operating like two separate forces squeezed into the same book. The Skitarii desperately need a new HQ unit – a cheap Skitarii Prime or something – and many players want a better focus on the armour that the Mechanicus is known for in the lore. What happened to the Automata that ruled the battlefields in the 31st millennium? I know plenty of technology disappeared as the galaxy waged war for 10,000 years, but if anyone was to secure and restore the relics of the past, it would be the technocratic priests of the Mechanicum.

Maybe we’ll finally get plastic Servitors, or some datasheets will be combined and we’ll get new units. But if the Skatros is the only new model the Mechanicus gets this year, at least it’s a good’un. It’s reminiscent of Dishonored’s Tall Boys and Mad Max’s Crow Fishers, freakish and terrifying in equal measure. Just please acknowledge its massive robo-knob instead of pretending it doesn’t have knees.

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