South Park: Snow Day! - 10 Funniest Quotes

The best way to describe South Park: Snow Day! is as though it's an interactive five-hour South Park special. After all, the game comes from the creators themselves, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who were executive producers, writers, and story developers alongside The Fractured But Whole's writer, Jameel Saleem, and creative director, Chris 'Crispy' Brion.

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Come on down to South Park: Snow Day! and meet some Easter eggs!

Despite the game's new vision that moves away from the previous singleplayer turn-based strategy titles from Ubisoft, the core elements, humor, mechanics, and outrageous moments are still present in Snow Day! Here are the most comedic character interactions you can experience!

It's South Park. Explicit language and crude adult humor should be expected ahead!

10 "You Know, Your Silence Can Be Very Unnerving."

Tolkien

Another South Park game and New Kid remains as silent of a protagonist as ever. By now, a lot of the characters have really caught on to this silence, and are starting to feel a little creeped out. When you visit Tolkien at the Armory to browse some of his weapons and powers he has available for you, he finally comments on it.

He's constantly trying to engage with New Kid to no avail, receiving crickets from them in return. Well, Tolkien finds it all pretty unnerving, and he'll say it as one of his dialogue barks whenever you're idle in the Armory's menu. It's South Park's way of poking fun at the idea of a silent protagonist, and what makes it even funnier is that the word 'unnerving' is misspelled as 'unnverving' in the subtitles.

9 "Please. Do Whatever You Want To Stan, But Don't Hurt The Toilet Paper!"

Randy Marsh

If there's one quote to sum up the theme of the whole game, it's this hilarious quip from Randy. The dark magic-summoned blizzard over South Park has reverted everyone back to their default Pandemic behaviors. Toilet paper is a valuable commodity and everyone's fighting over it, and the recurring joke is Randy being envious of Butters Stotch's dad for accumulating the most.

He ends up interrupting Stan in the middle of the boss fight with the New Kid to exclaim how he stole Stotch's toilet paper after beating him up and that he's rich. Once you defeat Stan, Randy gets on his knees to beg that you spare the toilet paper, and he absolutely does not care what happens to his son (who's lying unconscious beside him), even telling New Kid to "Do whatever you want" to him.

8 "The End Is Nigh, Everyone! It's The Apocalypse! Repent Before It's Too Late!"

Father Maxi

It's South Park's most reliable, trustworthy, and totally unproblematic priest, Father Maxi! When tensions are already high and the blizzard seems like it's the end of days, people already in a state of unrest wanting to loot stores, he comes in with perfect timing holding a cardboard sign that reads 'The End Is Nigh!'

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He then shouts at people that "It's the apocalypse!" and suggests that everyone repent before they're completely doomed. Asking others to repent in such a way when there's a greater degree of panic and the world is believed to be ending, especially coming from Father Maxi, makes it that much funnier.

7 "One Minute Poopsiekins - I Just Need To Dab On A Little More Christmas Magic."

Liane Cartman

There are a lot of gross jokes in this game. It is South Park, after all! But never did you think you'd see Cartman's mom wiping Mr. Hankey's magical sh*t all over her face to turn herself into a miniboss. This was a great moment, as it's not only humorously gross and outrageous, but Liane's character finally got to appear in the actual gameplay of a South Park game.

As you chase Cartman in a sequence leading up to his boss battle, he'll enlist his Dark Matter-controlled mom to pose as an obstacle to the New Kid. Dark Matter is the magical stuff you collect from Mr. Hankey's port-o-potty business to acquire perk upgrades. It's really just magical Christmas poop, and to gear up for the fight, Liane feels she needs to smear more of it over her face like putting on makeup.

6 "I Cast A Spell, Your Health Is Back To 100, Get The F*ck Up. God, I Have To Do Everything Around Here."

Cartman

South Park games are at their best when they can be clever at memeing mechanics and how games work. New Kid needed healing after being nearly killed by Stan, who did a secret workaround quest to get a powerful special ability for his axe (one that New Kid would also do to steal that same power).

Cartman felt that the New Kid was embarrassing him and quickly healed him back to full health (even though this all occurs in a cutscene). Having no patience for the animation of your character getting up, he gets irritated and curses at New Kid. He then claims he has to "do everything" like a diva, but it's also because Cartman sort of oversees gameplay.

5 "And People Can Stop Fighting Over Toilet Paper And Get Back To Their Jobs!"

Tolkien

Only South Park can get away with such an unusual line of dialogue and make it work within the context of its story. But yes, even Tolkien's first thought and main concern when the blizzard is banished and things are back to normal in South Park is that people would stop fighting each other for toilet paper like it's the world's most precious resource and return to their lives.

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South Park: Snow Day! continues to be a parody of the Global COVID-19 Pandemic, when people were behaving much the same way and felt like it was the end of the world if they didn't buy out all the Costco warehouses of toilet paper. It's like day one of the blizzard and people already flock to toilet paper like moths to a flame.

4 "YOU Didn't Beat Me, Fat Ass, The NEW KID Did! And Who Were Those Other Three Kids They Were Playing With?!"

Kyle

Another clever line directed at a mechanic new to South Park: Snow Day! comes right after your first boss battle with Kyle. It is a co-op game, after all, and you either have randomized AI bots by your side to help take on Kyle: The Elf King, or your friends. Naturally, Kyle would wonder about those other 'new' New Kids that he saw.

Cartman has a smart tongue twister of a response to Kyle in his explanation about who the companion bots are. But before that, he brags to Kyle that he beat him in battle, when Kyle reminds Cartman that the New Kid alone bested him in battle, and then resorts to using his favorite name for Cartman whenever he's angry — "Fat ass."

3 "That Kind Of Magic Has Been Outlawed Ever Since The New Kid Ruined The Last Game By Farting Backwards In Time!"

Butters

Butters loves to discuss New Kid's farts in this game. In fact, one of the earliest lines you hear from him is him commending your use of Fart Escape to have farts propel you to South Park Elementary. But this line is even better because it's a callback to the previous game, The Fractured But Whole.

The characters are trying to figure out who had the power to summon such dark magic that manifested the deadly snow over South Park, as Stan now confessed that it wasn't him. Butters says that this kind of magic was banned after what took place during The Fractured But Whole's final mission, when New Kid got a new TimeFart ability to travel back in time!

2 "Hey New Kid, Don't Forget To Take A Crap Once In A While. You Don't Wanna Be Fighting On The Battlefield And Have To Take A Crap."

Cartman

There's one way games like to provide hints to nudge you in a certain direction in case you missed something, and then there's the way South Park: Snow Day! does it. Kupa Keep (aka Cartman's backyard) has a port-o-potty, and it's there you'll meet Mr. Hankey, who introduces you to Dark Matter collectibles to buy perks for New Kid.

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If you haven't yet checked out the very important port-o-potty, Cartman will pop in to communicate that you shouldn't forget to "take a crap once in a while," as it would suck to want to poop in the middle of all the combat. It's, of course, the cue to visit the port-o-potty, but also a fun callback to previous South Park games where pooping on the toilet was a minigame.

1 "DID THEY CANCEL SCHOOL YET?! DID THEY CANCEL SCHOOL?!"

Cartman

The introductory cutscene had the perfect humorous setup to lead into the game and its overarching premise that Cartman doesn't want to go to school. Cartman's mother, Liane, watched the TV report in horror at all the devastation the blizzard brought South Park and the lives that had been lost, but Cartman only cared about the announcement of school getting canceled, even praying to God in his bed not to f*ck him over.

Relatable to us all, he couldn't sleep and was anxious to know if an announcement had been made about the school being closed. So what does he do? He barges into his mother's room in the middle of the night while she's sound asleep to startle her by excitedly yelling "DID THEY CANCEL SCHOOL?!" The news wouldn't make an official announcement until the next morning, still almost omitting it.

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