I’d Play Disney Lorcana If Tim Curry Had A Card

TheGamer is obsessed with Disney Lorcana. I’m somewhat of a casual card boy myself – I’ve got an affinity for Yu-Gi-Oh and a few Pokemon decks knocking around – but I just don’t care about Disney enough to get all excited about Tinkerbell and one of the dogs that makes a cameo in 101 Dalmatians.

We’ve got some great videos on Lorcana, and I’ve watched them all. The ink mechanic is interesting, matches look fun and quick, and it’s about time I actually played with some of the cards that are hiding in every corner of my house. The problem is, I don’t care for the mouse.

This is where Tim Curry comes in. Tim Curry is my favourite Disney princess, largely thanks to his role in Muppet Treasure Island. Some people (read: my editor) believe that the Muppets are too far removed from True Disney to be included in Lorcana, but I’m happy to wait. Soon enough, once they’ve used up all the Robin Hood side characters and every member of the mouse UN from The Rescuers, they’ll need to scrape the bottom of the barrel to produce another set for Disney Adults to throw their money at.

I think the Muppets would make a great set in Lorcana. Firstly, they take on different guises in their movies, meaning four different Kermit cards would easily have different flavours without needing to deviate from Storyborn options. Also, the Muppets are great. Can you tell I watched The Muppet Christmas Carol recently?

Aside from frogs, pigs, and whatever the h*ck Animal is, I’d be excited for some live-action humans to get their turn on the Lorcana table. Tim Curry as Long John Silver, Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge, Ricky Gerv– okay, maybe this isn’t a great idea. Ignoring the atheist in the room, some live-action cards could be a fun addition to Lorcana, provided they don’t dive into all the remakes and put a weird CGI Simba on a card. Okay, maybe all of this is a terrible idea.

Note: I don’t know if Disney would do illustrated artworks of live-action characters under the Dreamborn banner, but it seems unlikely seeing as you’d have to Dreamborn entire movies at a time

If live-action Tim Curry is off the cards (get it?), we can dive into his animated roles. Appearing in roles as varied as an evil cobra in TaleSpin, an evil bull in DarkWing Duck, an evil manta ray in TV series of The Little Mermaid, and a Nazi falcon (evil) in Valiant, Curry has voiced a litany of animated antagonists over the years. Many of these characters could be in line for the Lorcana treatment when we finally start seeing cards from the likes of Disney Afternoon, a programming block that included Darkwing Duck. Taurus Bulba, here we come.

Another route to Tim Curry would be through Disney’s acquisitions. Many teenagers today will know the legendary actor not through The Rocky Horror Show, It, or Clue, but from his role as Emperor Palpatine in The Clone Wars. Star Wars doesn’t seem like a good fit for Lorcana – unlike our arguments about the Muppets, I agree with Editor-in-Chief Stacey Henley on this one – but if any Star Wars were to appear on Lorcana, it would be The Clone Wars.

While there are some returning characters in Star Wars’ beloved animated show, The Clone Wars gives them new depth, new stories, and more facets than 90-minute action flicks allow. It introduces Jedi like Ahsoka Tano, who was so popular she got a live-action show, and is generally regarded within the fandom as some of the best Star Wars to hit our screens since the original trilogy. Darth Maul also is somehow alive and gets mechanical legs, so there’s that, too.

If a future set was to focus on the Clone Wars, Curry would be a shoe-in. A vital character, the primary antagonist, with a stellar vocal performance to boot, Palpatine would be front and centre of a Star Wars set.

At this point in writing the article, I think I’ve changed my mind. When the idea came to me, I wanted Long John Silver in paper form, with Curry’s visage mocking my opponents as he slices them to ribbons. Having thought about it, though, live-action characters on Lorcana cards feels like a slippery slope, and is Lorcana big enough for two completely different John Silvers? What I really want is a complete deck made up entirely of characters portrayed by Tim Curry, no matter how obscure. Thaddeus E. Klang and Taurus Bulba look like they’d have immediate chemistry if they ever met, so why wouldn’t they have synergy on the tabletop?

The imaginatively named Evil Manta fits the bill, too, and Curry’s long list of minor Disney villains would provide plenty of opportunities for you to fill out your deck, and it doesn’t matter if I’ve never heard of Forte, Lord Dragaunus, or Anton Sevarius if I can look them up on YouTube and mimic Curry’s line readings as I play the cards.

If you recognise any of those names, you’re far more into Disney than me and probably already love Lorcana. But for the game to succeed, it needs to pull in casual fans too, much like the way I buy a pack of Pokemon cards every now and then because I play the video games. To do that, Disney needs to cast its net far and wide, and reel in a haul of Tim Curry characters for me to make a deck with. It’s for the good of the game, I swear.

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