There’s Finally A Warhammer Game That Lets Me Be A Simp For The Omnissiah
I sold my soul to Omnissiah a long time ago. For almost a decade now, I’ve been experimenting with augmentations that border on (and sometimes go way past) heresy. My Dark Mechanicus monstrosities have seen me branded as a “heretic,” “daemon,” and “Sid from Toy Story,” but nevertheless, I persisted. The flesh is weak, and only through sacred machine implantations can we truly honour the Omnissiah.
However, my proclivity for grafting forbidden technology to warp-cursed flesh has thus far been confined to the tabletop. My Warhammer 40k battlefields have been abominations since way before 11th edition, but that has never transitioned to the small screen before. Until now. Rogue Trader’s new Infinite Museion DLC has completely revamped the game’s existing augmentation system and my Cursed Blanchitsu style of hobby is finally accurately represented in the video game space.
I immediately pushed Trazyn aside to implant as many bio-augmentations as I possibly could into my repulsive flesh. The results, as you will soon see, are equal parts disgusting and beautiful in their pursuit of biomechanical perfection.
How I Became A Badass Tech Priest In Warhammer 40K: Rogue Trader
The Adeptus Mechanicus is featured everywhere at the moment, and that’s only going to increase when Dawn of War 4 launches later this year. We were served a delicious starter of Mechanicus 2, before tucking into the succulent main course of the Skitarii class added to Darktide this week. But I didn’t expect Rogue Trader’s third piece of DLC, which is ostensibly headlined by 40k’s most interesting Necron, Trazyn the Infinite, to offer such a delectable dessert in the new augmentation system. And the latter is the only one that really gets why we—or, at least, I—love the Mechanicus so dearly.
The current slate of Mechanicus experiences don’t quite capture the fantasy of the machine cult. I’m not playing as the Mechanicus because I like shooting condensed radiation out of assault rifles or because I think red robes are particularly fetching. I’m here to lop off every possible limb and replace it with a superior machine counterpart. I want USB drives in my fingertips, eyesight that can spot a Squig on another continent, and enough servo-arms to make Doc Ock jealous. The flesh is weak, as the saying goes, and I want to augment, augment, augment.
Thankfully, Tech-Priest Manipulus Eogunn Februs has brought his Implantation Throne aboard the good ship Warrant's Heir, and he’s cooked up a delightful menu of mechanical upgrades for my perusal. Bon appétit.
Infinite Museion, Infinite Possibilities
I went into Rogue Trader completely blind back in 2023, and specced my protagonist as close to a Tech-Priest as I possibley could. Then, I realised that I could recruit Pasqal, a bona fide member of the Adeptus Mechanicus. No matter, I thought, we could be tech-bros together (think more Martian brotherhood than Silicon Valley weirdo). The addition of Eogunn brings our number of Mech-bros up to three, but I’m severely lagging behind when it comes to implantations and upgrades. Enter Februs’ finest creation, Sector Bionica.
The initial augmentations are… Interesting, to say the least. But I persevered. This is my calling, after all. A decade of amputating miniature plastic hands and gluing on pipes, claws, and all manner of other unsuitable objects in their place has led to this moment. So I do it. I commit. I replace both my arms with giant hooks.
My Rogue Trader looks immensely silly now, but I’m one step closer to mechanical perfection. Who needs fingers, anyway? I imagine him struggling with a door handle. How does he butter his toast? He’s got grunts to do the former, I tell myself, and surely there’s a butter knife attachment for times when he’s not on a murderous rampage against the enemies of the Emperor. And when I am on a murderous rampage, I can slice and stab better than ever. If only my intelligence-maxed stats supported that kind of playstyle…
I may have gone a bit gung-ho with the first enhancements I found, but the more I played, the more options I found. While you can never grow your old limbs back, you can swap out mechanical appendages for more suitable alternatives. That said, I haven’t for a moment regretted my Inspector Gadget-esque spring-loaded legs.
I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface of the system, but so far I’ve forced three of my companions under the knife to join me on my quest for techno-purity (in addition to the two Magi already well-adorned). Solomorne is giving Robocop, Abelard has had his augmetic eye supplemented with those second-hand hook arms, and Heinrix (the most boring companion) is basically my test subject for any new gear I come across.
While I understand my Implantation Throne is subject to the same, strict Games Workshop lore checks as for the rest of the game, I want to be able to subject Ulfar to my abominable experiments. Argenta, too, nobody can be that perfect without significant electrical adornment. The Aeldari and Drukhari can (and do) do their own thing—I’m sure Marazhai has a catalogue of semi-biological torture devices bigger than my own—so they’re out of the retinue until they decide to embrace the Omnissiah.
My party can only get more mechanical from here. I must admit I’m jealous of some of Pasqal and Februs’ Magos-only implants (note to self: find and graft a servo-arm onto your body ASAP), but I’m well on my way to fulfilling my destiny as a disciple of the Machine God. By the time I’m finished with The Infinite Museion, I’ll be more metal than man—just as Omnissiah intended. I just hope that Trazyn hasn’t got any EMP grenades in that collection of his.
Like Follow FollowedWarhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader
Strategy RPG Systems 4.0/5 OpenCritic Reviews Top Critic Avg: 75/100 Critics Rec: 73% Released December 7, 2023 ESRB T Due To Blood, Suggestive Themes, Use of Drugs and Alcohol, Violence Developer(s) Owlcat Games Publisher(s) Owlcat GamesWHERE TO PLAY
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