My modern consoles fit with my modern furniture. I have a white entertainment centre that sits below my TV, and in one of the two cubby holes of this unit my white OLED Switch stands, proudly blending in with the wood. In the opposite section, my white Xbox Series S sits peacefully, engaged in urban camouflage. Beneath the entertainment centre itself, in the gap created by its stubby white legs, you'll find my white PS5 laying sideways in the shadows. Dotted around these various sections are my two Xbox controllers (both white), my two PS5 controllers (both white) and my PS VR2 which, you've guessed it, comes in bedazzled leopard print. No wait, let me look again. Apologies, it's actually white.

While the PS5 is a little too chunky and desperate to be thought of as cutting edge, I have no major issues with the design of any of these things individually. They all look fine, and all go perfectly well with not only my furniture, but most furniture the world over. They're designed this way. But taken together, it all looks a little boring. I miss when consoles were a little more adventurous.

You may not like it, but this is what peak console design looks like

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My favourite childhood possession was my frosted purple Game Boy Color. Why don't we have frosted purple anything these days? There's the other great ones, like the orange GameCube, the pink Dreamcast, the yellow PS2, and of course, the tribal GameBoy Advance in the mix too. Seeing as I have at least an ounce of self-respect, I woulstatic.aayyy.com/topic/dn/'t get any console with a tribal tattoo these days, but the other colours would be great. I want an orange PS5. Don't you want an orange PS5?

The problem is games consoles have tried to shift their demographic. No longer toys, they are entertainment machines, no more childish than a television or an Alexa. They must appeal to the cool, techy crowd, and have a sense of prestige to them. The Xbox was ahead of the curve with this, making it the defining identity of the Xbox One, but the world wasn't ready. These days, smart TVs make a lot of the non-gaming functions of games consoles moot, but they still feel the need to occupy this more adult sphere, not lowering themselves to the humiliation of being a brightly coloured plaything.

My view that games should relish being toys is why I'm willing to go to bat for Spider-Man 2, and why I'll always hold up the Wii as the best console of all time.

There are some ways to move away from these sleek and bland ideals, but only when there's money to be made. Sony will sell you new faceplates, but only to promote the new Spider-Man game. There are dozens of Switch models on the market too, but most of them are tie-ins to Nintendo games. Some of them don't even try - the Mario one is just all red with some coins hidden behind the back plate. If you're going to be a Mario Switch, go all out. Wonder is weird, but the console promoting it is boringly safe.

This time, Xbox is behind the curve. It has the most outlandish tie-in consoles, with deals for the likes of Wonka (featuring chocolate controllers), Barbie (featuring an actual dreamhouse), Sonic (featuring furry controllers), and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (featuring the chance to stink of pizza). However, these consoles and controllers can't be bought, but were only available to limited contest winners online. They're the right kind of silly, but I could do without the obnoxious branding. If Xbox sold normal Xboxes and Xboxes that looked like big chocolate bars, I'd buy the chocolate bar one without needing a Timothee Chalamet movie to seal the deal.

It feels like the fun and flair has gone out of these things now. Consoles and handhelds used to look neat just because it was neat. It may have been the result of some sales trend advising designers that bright colours and flashy gimmicks were in, but I have to imagine that was still a more enjoyable process than ergonomically designed white blocks with the aim of standing out while being thoroughly unobtrusive. I have games consoles to have fun. Why can't the console be fun too?

And while we're at it, cut the Joy-Con a break

I'll Always Prefer Joy-Con To The Pro Controller

Conventional wisdom tells you the Pro Controller is the better option for the Nintendo Switch, but there is a magic to the Joy-Con that I love

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