Oblivion Remastered: 10 Most Memorable Quotes

Oblivion Remasteredkeeps the popular quotes coming from start to finish. Bethesda's RPGs have seldom excelled first and foremost with their core narratives, but Oblivion's, much like Morrowind's, is still pretty solid. Several quotes from characters spread across the game's main questline are excellent.

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Throughout the open world, there are plenty of more well-recognized lines. Oftentimes, they're downright funny, and above all, those are the ones that click with us for decades on-end, and have been lovingly brought forward in Oblivion Remastered with every bit the bizarreness of the original.

10 "I've Fought Mudcrabs More Fearsome Than You."

Our first choice, not unlike our next one, might strike some readers as odd in a game with so many great quotes to choose between. But this has lived rent-free in our heads ever since the first time we saw an NPC declare it while battling... a mudcrab.

The line delivery doesn't vary enough for this unintentional comedy to ever miss its mark. It is clear that comparing an enemy to a mudcrab is intended to insinuate that whatever is presently being fought is even more pathetic. What, pray tell, are these people trying to say when they compare an enemy to itself?

9 "Oh, It's You. Hi."

Unintentional comedy rules the roost again with this quote. So many times, Oblivion's voice-acting falters because its lines are read with differing interpretations. These words can be used as a friendly greeting, and they frequently are; at worst, they're purely neutral, as if waving to someone who almost passes for an acquaintance.

But sometimes, oh, sometimes, the sentence is read with venom on the tongue. It is delivered so sharply, so angrily, and it will happen from people whom you've befriended with the Persuasion system just as often as it will occur when complete strangers deign to speak with you. It always leaves us a little bit upset, you know? What the heck did we do to you?

8 "By Azura, By Azura! It's The Grand Champion!"

Few characters in Oblivion are more memorable than the Adoring Fan, an over-the-top, positively obsessed, otherwise-nameless, fellow who will sing your praises every step of the way for the remainder of the game unless you tell him to wait somewhere or, if you're cruel enough, prompt him to fall off a cliff.

The first thing the Adoring Fan says to you is, in many minds, the most memorable of them all. If you aren't properly prepared - aware of this salivating man prior to his arrival - you're going to be caught off-guard and immediately concerned from the moment he cries out in a Daedra's name.

7 "You Realize That All Your Life, You Have Been Coasting, As If You Were In A Dream."

Oblivion's level-up messages are effortlessly cool. They're hokey, to be sure, but that just adds to their charm. They assume a particular mental wavelength from your character, but who cares? They are flavorful, one and all, and easy enough to ignore, seeing as they're written, rather than spoken.

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Why would we ever ignore them, though? So many are so very good, but it's the first sentence in the very first level-up text that sticks with us the most. If you've never leveled in Oblivion before, you're in for a bit of a satisfied shock when these words hit your screen.

6 "So. The Cat's-Paw Of The Septims Arrives At Last."

Mankar Camoran is a hauntingly efflective villain. Sure, he's no Dagoth Ur, but who else in Elder Scrolls lore even is? Camoran satisfyingly fulfills his role, and he makes up for lost time during a relative lack of prior encounters with a speech that only the fiercely devoted leader of the cult of the Mythic Dawn can muster.

While that entire speech could easily be brought into this list, it's this "greeting" that sets the stage for it all. All your efforts are summarily called out as little more than strung-along puppetry. You're viewed with disdain, and that's going to stick with you as Camoran begins his most poetic waxing.

5 "Cheese For Everyone!"

When Oblivion fans think of their favourite characters, Sheogorath frequently springs to mind first and foremost. The leading man in the excellent Shivering Isles expansion - which is part of Oblivion Remastered by default, thank goodness - has an unforgettable voice performance and a truly unhinged script.

Even if you find Sheogorath's fandom praise to be a bit much, his declaration of cheese (and subsequent announcement of no cheese) surely lingers in your head. Or, perhaps, it does not. We shouldn't assume. But seriously, it probably does.

4 "You Sleep Rather Soundly For A Murderer."

Lucien Lachance is a rival of Sheogorath's. Not in the literal sense; it's just that for every Sheogorath diehard, there's someone who cites your Dark Brotherhood contact instead. Effortlessly cool, with a similarly delicious line reading, Lucien, not unlike Mankar, sets the stage with a not-so-veiled threatening greeting.

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Unlike Mankar, however, Lucien becomes an ally. Of sorts, anyway. This initial quote, the first you'll hear after commiting a murder and beginning the road toward induction into Oblivion's best faction, can send chills down the spine if you didn't know what you've gotten yourself into.

3 "These Are The Closing Days Of The Third Era, And The Final Hours Of My Life."

Once again, early words win positions on our list. This time, they're the very first in the game. Sir Patrick Stewart hooks us from the moment he opens his mouth, from the beginning of the opening cutscene that either establishes Uriel Septim VII as not long from this world.

We did, admittedly, cut to a couple of sentences in with this particular quote. But the quote in its entirety is worthy of the entry, and we've picked the most poignant words of all.

2 "Fare Thee Well, Sheogorath, Prince Of Madness."

There is no true canon for your characters in The Elder Scrolls. Nothing is definitively done; each game in the timeline moves forward without assuming anything specific about past protagonists - only that they won the day, and did so in suitably legendary fashion.

Oblivion almost defies this. So long as you've completed The Shivering Isles' questline, you "canonically" succeed the Sheogorath whom we know and most of us love as the next Prince of Darkness. The revelation that everything has led up to this moment, this inauguration, is wild. These final words of his mark perhaps the biggest mostly-unavoidable milestone for the fate of the Champion of Cyrodiil, the Hero of Kvatch... you.

1 "Stop Right There, Criminal Scum!"

Our favourite Oblivion quote was never in question. This vicious command, often uttered if a Guard catches you after you have committed a crime, has become the mother of all Oblivion memes. For 19 years and counting (possibly even more, should you happen to be reading this after 2025!), it's been the subject of parody songs, in-jest LARPs, and even fan art.

There's nothing special about this quote in and of itself. But it's just so poignantly common, and so decisively derisive. It is, as they say, peak.

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