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Power to the Players

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Yo yo yo, it’s your boy, Dreamweaver! Welcome back to Comments of the Week, where the finest comments across the best website in the world are compiled in one place!

That’s right, you never have to leave this domain again! Not, not that you would, right? I mean, why would you ever leave? For fresh air? It’s overrated, there ain’t no air-conditioning out there! For beautiful views? To interact with people? All you need is me! Anyway, as always, you can check out comments in three categories:

TRUTH: in 2012, there was a record-breaking burger so big, that it took a crane to flip it.

LOL: just like your mom.

WUT?: only she was doing the eating. WHAT?

If you haven’t seen last week’s Comments of the Week, that ain’t my fault. Why you trying to blame me?

From Do you want gaming and related media to be your ‘safe space’?

Dreamweaver: The only safe space belongs in the bedroom!

Dreamweaver: Damn it, can we not share the cuddles? Greedy-ass cuddle fuckers.

From The next Skylanders will let you order your created character as a toy

Dreamweaver: Score one for humanity!

From Stardew Valley adds more farm maps, buildings, and a quest

Dreamweaver: Do the Dew.

From When will Nintendo reveal the NX?

Dreamweaver: Maybe your mom was secretly a sleeper agent under doublethink.

From Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered will have bots in private matches

Dreamweaver: Some like it Bot.

From Skyrim and Fallout 4 will get mods on PS4, but there’s a catch

Dreamweaver: That should be the standard for any video game.

From For Honor won’t support split-screen after all

Dreamweaver: Kids these days will never know the pain of being slapping in the back of the head for screen watching

Dreamweaver: You mean Tumblr?

From Skyrim composer pissed at concert that has ‘nothing to do with him’

Dreamweaver: Soule food.

I’m not as appropriate with my puns as he is.

Dreamweaver: So, like 4D, only with audio issues.

From FIFA has the best ass-eating glitch

Dreamweaver: Please don’t chew, swallow.

From Legendary Final Fantasy art director Yusuke Noara leaves company

Dreamweaver: Now Minos feels mini.

From Review: Paper Mario: Color Splash

Dreamweaver: Her English teacher must be horrified.

From Publisher 505 Games picks up Bloodstained

Dreamweaver: 505th time’s the charm.

From Hidetaka Miyazaki feels ‘unworthy’ of Dark Souls/Zelda comparisons

Dreamweaver: My sex life is swinging a dagger in the air until it accidentally flies out of my hand after the fourth swing.

From Norway’s political leaders seem to be really fond of Pokemon GO

Dreamweaver: I hate yourself too.

From Time to delete your games: Infinite Warfare Legacy Edition requires 130 GB install

Dreamweaver: I would not give up my porn space for this.

From Valve is in hot water with Washington State over skin gambling

Dreamweaver: This is one protection I don’t mind using.

From Digital Homicide looking to drop lawsuit against Steam users (Update)

Dreamweaver: You haven’t hit puberty yet? Torchman? Mo’ like TorchBOY.

From Download the Outlast 2 demo while you can

Dreamweaver: What girls say about my foreplay.

From Universal is taking a crack at a Gears of War movie

Dreamweaver: “Highly overrated.” – people who have not seen a movie

From Nielsen ranks Battlefield 1, Call of Duty as the most anticipated holiday games of 2016

Dreamweaver: He would make one heck of a lawyer.

From Rumor: Images of Overwatch’s Sombra may have leaked

Dreamweaver: Best advice on avoiding jailbait.

From Review: Gears of War 4

Dreamweaver: I didn’t understood that reference!

From Oh god, Japan made a horse dating game

Dreamweaver: “I’ll be here all week.”

As pun-ishment.

From Valve brings monetized, limited-use sprays to Counter-Strike: GO

Dreamweaver: It could go either way. You’re supposed to fuck things you love, right?

And that’s it for this week, folks! Remember, do not accept candy from strangers, unless it’s a flavor you like.

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