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Super Mario Bros. 30th anniversary

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Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of Super Mario Bros. Fine. But, also, the Internet keeps trying to convince me that it was also “8-bit Day,” one of those bullshit, made-up holidays from the folks that brought you the insufferable “Talk Like a Pirate Day” or “Cinco de Mayo Isn’t Obnoxious Enough, Let’s Make the Day Before it About Star Wars” (Mexico’s Independence Day is in two days, September 16, by the way).

Anyways, for made-up “8-Bit Day,” Microsoft had some crossed wire fun on its website. Enter the Konami code (and trite kitsch disclosure, doing that on Destructoid triggers Asteroids, which let’s you destroy the entire site) and a bunch of…really very sickly gray/peach 8-bit caricatures of, I assume, Microsoft employees pop up. They’re really all that that same color of gray, huh? Except for the one in red plaid, who’s more of a copper. Hmm. Hmm.

Oh, right, before they pop up, an 8-bit version of Microsoft’s (Windows 10’s???) new unofficial mascot (???), a “ninja” cat riding a dinosaur (that’s SO random! :3) walks across the screen and shits out some quarters, which you pop into an arcade machine.

That opens up eight gif boxes that link to Bing (Microsoft’s search engine) searches for things like: Pac-Man, The Legend of Zelda, Donkey Kong, Super Meat Boy, Fez, Frogger, and Space Invaders.

Super Meat Boy was not, to my knowledge, ever in arcades, because they were all wiped out before that game even came out in the Great Arcade Fire. Plus, Meat Boy isn’t even made out of pixels. He’s made out of meat! And on top of all these inconsistencies, you’re not even going to pay lip service to Super Mario Bros., the video game celebrating its 30th anniversary for which this bullshit, made-up holiday was set up to coincide with? (No, the Donkey Kong and “Jumpman” connection doesn’t count.)

That is somehow even worse. 

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